Look at the means he proudly grins up at you against your own cell phone display screen when he dangles their Connect throughout the day between your ft out of his freight hva er forskjellen mellom Bogota kvinner og amereikanske kvinner trousers-clothed feet! You understand those people pockets are only filled up with carabiners, hooks, and you can zip-ties! Imagine the pretty Boy Scout your went along to elementary college having. Think about the way they was in fact thus helpful and you will realized all the various types of tangles? Ok, now picture them grown-up-and not wanting to help you Venmo you $250 getting their half of the abortion. Now photo him ascending toward sunshine, that he calls „nature’s alarm clock.” Honestly, I don’t know that is tough.
Nebraska: The latest Armchair Quarterback
You’ve undergone three (3) coffees tables this current year since your boyfriend, an armchair quarterback from Nebraska, does not want to avoid crushing all of them when you look at the frustration when his team loses. The guy categorically will not accept that the participants can’t hear him from his living room and, as a result, his article-fumble „Come on. ” cry are noisy. All of the Friday, without fail, you are both paying attention to your name the mentor and you can athlete a good banging moron, otherwise freezing within tailgate – never at the genuine online game, even when. He’ll never ever mastered one 12 months in which he try almost a 3rd-string go-with the kicker towards the Huskers, and since the guy discusses every thing the fresh damn time, neither might you.
Nevada: The new Perma-Bachelor
If only my personal suit match myself including Bradley Cooper’s performed on Dangle over, believes the new Las vegas, nevada Fuckboy, upcoming my entire life could well be complete. Around he goes, prowling from pub with his clothing undone that option also of many, slurring his terminology and sloshing their martini. Only if they tasted as effective as they look, the guy magic in order to themselves. Never ask your for taking off their glasses, since they are hiding a couple of crusted, bloodshot eyes that were once simple and loaded with lifetime. He could be now a strolling group machine, repeating so you can their family: „You’re going to get hitched? Loser! It is the solitary life for me personally, brah!”, not knowing he’ll getting condemned to expand a beneficial paunch, help their pricey fit become discolored and you may awful, and become among Las vegas slot machine grandmas, thumbing house on the machine and you may sipping a two-liter bottle of eating plan Coke, wishing to profit the newest award out-of their forgotten youngsters.
“Hello girl, failed to I view you on Tri-Kap dager the other day?” try a consistent starting gambit of the The brand new Hampshire Fuckboy exactly who was Steeped But Ashamed Regarding it. A good Dartmouth man through-and-through, he or she is a perfect sight regarding switch-downs, khaki shorts, and an effective blazer that may be used within formals in addition to within their father’s boat pub. Ask him outright if the he or she is steeped, he’ll stop wasting time to share with you his loved ones dont individual an effective private sprinkle – it’s simply a risk in the a contributed G6 anywhere between the my personal father’s team partners. And he has no a residence on Nantucket, it’s simply a small summer-house toward seashore nearby the Obamas’ put. A great trick when you need to place him with the location – query your so you can pronounce the name out of their very expensive view (Audemars Piguet) and watch your squirm.
The newest Mexico: The fresh Plug
The brand new Mexico, they claim, is the home off enchantment, a desert where their journey hopes and dreams can come true. It’s nearer to a dirty nightmare where in fact the dudes smell like soil and you may smegma. The new Mexican fuckboy, in the event that he is out-of Albuquerque, could well be far too desperate to show you attractions from Cracking Crappy – you understand, you to home you could toss a pizza on to, or that crystal meth motel – as the that’s all he’s. That, with his “I am the one who knocks” top (stained), a broad-brimmed cap (doesn’t fit), and you may Heisenberg cups (indeed a small tight so that they look from inside the and then leave purple, welt-for example indents with the their direct). If the they are away from Santa Fe, predict a comparable but with talks about Ayahuasca so boring it is possible to have to hurl oneself off of the cliffs during the Los Alamos.